Tuesday, August 12, 2014
I've been watching the celebration of Hoda (Today Show)turning 50 last week. She has been through and done so much! It made me think back on my own life. Have I done all I set out to accomplish? Am I better now for everything I've lived thru? What more do I need to do and get done? What direction am I heading towards? My career. Because of injuries and surgeries, I can no longer work in the field I have always worked in. Not really a career, more of a job to help support the family. My home business. I suddenly have a lot more time to invest in it. Need it more than ever now but not able to do as much physically as I need to help it thrive. And it's at the turning point of staying the same size or gearing up to the next level which means acquiring more land, opening a shop and hiring employees. I dreamed as a young married girl of writing. Books, poems,songs. It didn't matter. I guess I started by writing this blog. And I've posted some poems. Maybe I'll try e-books. I have children's stories squirreled away somewhere. I wanted a family of my own. As an adopted child, I always felt left out, sitting on the sidelines. The best moments of my life were holding my children and grandchildren for the first time. They were truly mine. From me, of me. They complete me. I want my children happy. I want everyone healthy. I want to spend more time with family. I want to enjoy the simple things. I want to make my life more simple. Things I never had enough time to savor; or forgot how to take time. Sunrises and sunsets. Lying in bed and listening to the birds singing in the garden. Dusk in a hammock after a hot summer day hearing the frogs and crickets and gazing at the stars. Holding hands after dinner with hubby. Rising early and taking an impromptu drive to the mountains or woods. I want to be a hippie again. Bake the bread, make soap and candles and cheese, yogurt and ice cream. Things I did newly married when money was scarce and I had all day in front of me. Get back to simpler times. I have wander lust for the first time since in 40 years. I want to devour the roadways and visit new places and old ones, forgotten. I want to wade in creeks meandering down mountainsides. I want to smell dark forests after a rainstorm. I want to hear the roar of the ocean and taste the salt on my skin. I can stop and put up my canopy along the road and sell my crafts. I can hunt for treasures. I can expand my horizons. Most importantly I want to feel I accomplished. I want inner peace. I don't want to look back and regret. Go forward! And here's to another fulfilling 50 years! Happy Birthday Hoda! Patti I just want to add that I am so saddened by the suicide of Robin Williams. He did not take the easy way out. The easy way is to take a pill, take a drink, cry yourself to sleep. Until the pain goes away. His pain never went away. Thank you Mr. Williams for helping us forget that pain, if just for a moment. If only we could have done the same for you.